Friday, September 11, 2015

September 11


  1. The door that took patients back to the examination rooms blasted open. A bloody and growling man in a cheap business suit came stumbling out. He instantly grabbed at a fat woman sitting near the door. As she tried to pull away, bloody business guy sank his teeth into her cheek.
    The waiting room erupted in screams. A big trucker attempted to pull bloody business guy of the lady. It backfired miserably. Bloody business guy let go of the woman and went at the trucker with gusto.
    I had to get out of there. I inched my way to the exit and slipped out into the parking lot. Vertigo was setting in. I fumbled around for my car keys, but the dizziness made it impossible. The sirens of an ambulance echoed in my ears. At last, help was here. I walked towards the sound. I'm not sure why I thought that was a good idea. I'm not sure of anything now.
    I made it to the sidewalk that ran along the road. Through quaking eyes, I could make out the lights on top of the ambulance. Then like a dope, I stepped off the sidewalk into the street, just as the ambulance passed by. The driver side mirror clocked me square in the head. The force from the impact spun me like a top. And everything went black.
    I'm not sure how much time passed before I regained consciousness. Wierd thing is, i was already walking when I came to, and not because I wanted to. It was as if my legs were being controlled by someone else and I was just along for the ride.
    I was staggering down a service road that ran along the canal across the street from my doctor's office. Up ahead, I could see a young kid and his pit bull. I wanted to shout for help, but discovered I no longer had control of that either.
    Then, everything happened quickly. The dog started barking, my legs began moving faster, then BLAMMO! I'm in the canal. My body laid there for a minute, then slowly began to crawl back up towards the service road. Just as it reached the top, a big ass chunk of concrete came loose, and down I went again.
    Thank God that chunk landed on my head. I don't think I could have taken much more of this.

    1. Love this. I think you should go farther with the humor based on language. Stuff like "blammo" is wonderful and captures what you're trying to do here!

    2. Check out this parody:

  2. Glenda woke up at the park with new resolve, determined to regain control of her life. Her first plan of action was to find a better job. The minimum wage server position at the diner didn’t generate enough tips, but serving was her only viable job skill. Where could she be a waitress and make more money in the process? Only one place came to mind, and as a young and somewhat attractive woman, Glenda had no doubt she could get in the door to one of the many restaurants in Las Vegas.

    It was time to pack up and move.