Sunday, January 3, 2016

January 3


5 comments:

  1. THE OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST: GALACTIC WARRIOR

    A time long ago
    in a galaxy far away
    A war uncivil raged.
    As Speech Pathologists
    Unlicensed in
    The swallowing line
    Won victory
    over
    Occupational Therapists.

    Whose practical living support
    Of Eating and Oral Care
    Was overwhelmed by
    Dubious
    Techniques of
    Thick
    Liquid
    Chin down
    And
    Fluoroscopy.


    Marketing
    By swallowing specialists
    Bamboozeled Doctors
    To dump their duty
    To assess
    Swallowing. Medication impact. Cranial nerves.
    Eating history.
    Patient
    And family
    Desire.


    Marketing
    By swallowing specialists
    Bamboozled Doctors
    To disregard the dots
    Of their
    Knowledge
    And
    Training
    To spurn responsibility
    To manage
    This
    Fundamental.


    Now
    Rebel dissent destroyed
    Swallow therapy mounts.
    Swallow billing climbs.
    Meanwhile
    Nursing home stats
    Reveal
    Dehydration. 31-95%
    Malnutrition. 35-85%
    Swallow problems.40-60%

    No Leia
    Racing
    Home.

    HEART OF THE POEM
    Common health care practices for patients with swallowing problems or feeding assist needs place patients at risk for dehydration and malnutrition.

    LAYERS
    o SURFACE
    • Adequate food and water is a basic human need.
    • A pleasurable meal experience can enhance health and social interaction.
    • The Occupational Therapist role is to maximize independence in functional tasks such as Self Feed/Eating/Meal prep.
    • Speech Pathologists commonly provide Swallowing Therapy.

    • DEEPER
    o Dehydration and malnutrition are common and severly compromise health
    o OTs and SLPs have been known to disagree on professional territory and licensing on Swallowing Therapy.
    o Despite contrary evidence, Speech Pathologists market themselves as experts in Swallowing Therapy with good outcome, securing an income and role.
    o Commonly used techniques and technology for Swallowing Therapy contribute to dehydration and malnutrition
    o Tube feeding does not prolong life
    o Physicians, who have both necessary medical background and understanding of patient diagnosis, do not carefully manage the Eating Care Plans for their patients.
    o Health Professionals commonly misunderstand aspiration risk, overlook dehydration symptoms, and do not insure careful feeding technique.
    o Malpractice concerns result in high risk averse behaviors by health care providers.

    WHERE AM I IN THE POEM
    Considering the impact of the daily living task of Eating on patient outcomes; the conflicting positions of Occupational Therapists and Speech Pathologists; and the lack of Physician oversight in managing these care plans.

    REMOVE THROAT CLEARING
    First stanza gone. Ouch. Bad. Superfluous. Ouch ouch ouch.

    A FEW WAYS TO MAKE IT MORE SATISFYING
    -Star wars metaphor is all throat clearing to attempt to gently back into this intense topic with a gimic. Ouch.
    -First stanza gone
    -Rework 5th stanza stats in a more compelling fashion.
    -Intorduce and play with layers of meaning.
    -Retitle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That titling is much more important than people think. It is often the most resonant part of the poem!

      Delete
  2. 17.

    "This hurts

    in the way we would rather capture the image
    of the sun

    than be here to feel it
    we the shallow

    depression in the parking lot that drinks the sky
    and the doused oil on the water’s surface

    also reflects the clouds
    so like our swelling

    bellies
    drawing everything that once nurtured

    the world inside ourselves."

    So I cut the initial part of line one, substituting the ending line.

    I removed a lot of the ambiguous relationships of reflection and counter reflection.

    I tried to incorporate the photographs core meaning so I can forgo the photograph itself.

    Instead of a 7 line constraint, I created 7 short line stanzas of two lines each (except for a few).

    The focus of relationships changed by taking out the womb image, which goes more subtly into swelling bellies.

    I'm not sure this is clearer, it feels way overt now.

    I think the heart of this poem has always been a sort of criticism of our current mechanism of living. A lot of the other poems in this collection address the sort of necessary waste that comes from massing people together in cities.

    This is way outside of my normal mode of writing. Its fun, but scary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it's strange to think of your poems like this, but I enjoy what you're doing, man!

      Delete
  3. Not about Chocolate

    This dot of an M&M
    cradled in the palm of my hand
    rests on the crossed crease of my life line
    nudging Saturn’s line of wisdom
    marked M for mothers who
    pack lunches dividing Kit Kat bars
    two sticks each for lunch

    but we were three kids in school
    two sticks were missed every time
    My tongue licked melted chocolate
    Rough off fingerprints sweetened by
    regret because chocolate
    was never enough knowing two
    extra bars should’ve been mine
    all mine I was oldest and chocolate’s
    not meant to be shared
    not to be kind, or frugal.

    That was a childhood ago.
    Today the blue one is staring
    but not melting in my hand
    ‘cause this one, this one—is new

    Seems more explicit. Brings my original sentiment forward, also re-occurring themes

    ReplyDelete